Boy Trouble... Not Really

So. I’ve got boy troubles.

Not the usual boy troubles though, not by definition. It’s not issues with romance or anything like that. Kinda wish it was, that seems like it could be resolved easier.

Have you ever had a friend, and at one point you two were inseparable, like, planning to move across the country for each other?

I did. And that friend was a boy. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, because we were great friends. This friend and I accumulated quite the history. I’ll be transparent: we dated for a month. I ended it, after realizing I didn’t like him that way (plus, he was super clingy, and I felt like something was… off). But our friendship persisted for years.

Actually, it didn’t necessarily persist, we had ons and offs.

This boy had some… issues? How else to call it…?

He routinely befriended women, hit on them, and somehow victimized them without noticing he was.

I’m not kidding. There’s a whole club of us. We routinely talk with each other—“did you see what he did yesterday??” “look at what he just said to me. unbelievable…” “he knows I don’t play that shit”.

And somehow… I can still call him my friend. I put up with his habits and destructive ways of socializing. I can’t figure out why.

I’ve decided recently this can’t stand anymore. Something’s gotta change, or else we’re better off going our separate ways.

With all of the news lately calling out predators and abusers, it’s making me… jittery. Itchy. Like, I have to do something. When all of the women I knew were posting “Me Too”, I had nothing to share, and yet I felt guilty. Because no matter how hard I like to think I have my morals in place, that I’m a good- at least decent- person, I let the boys around me get away with those little actions every day. Those little actions that pile up into real shit.

So, I’m not going to wait until New Years to make this resolution. I’m making it right now. I’m going to call out my friends, especially the boys, when they do things that go against common sense and human decency. I’ve been too timid, maybe too scared of confrontation, to make this promise until now. I’m hoping more people will make this promise with me too, because it's a nice first step to take to maybe (hopefully) make the world a tiiiiiny bit nicer to live in. J

T